Eragon by Christopher Paolini

So, after finishing Shiloh by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor, I decided to work my way through the next book series my nephew Alex loaned me - The Interitance Cycle by Christopher Paolini - book 1 - Eragon.  Christopher Paolini was 15 years old (!!!) when he wrote the first draft of Eragon.  This book doesn't seem like something a normal 15 year old would write.  The language and vocabulary are that of a much older and wiser adult, not that of a kid.  I was surprised, and still am, that this book came from a 15 year old.  But age aside, this is a well-written, exciting to read book.  I started it on November 15 and finished it on December 14.

I have to admit that the first part of the book was a bit slow and it didn't immediately grab me.  It seemed to be another fantasy book with elements of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and other similar books.  Nothing reached out immediately and grabbed me.  But as I kept reading, the story slowly grew more exciting and intriguing, and by the end, it was hard to put the book down.  I usually read before going to bed, and usually can only get through like 10 pages before I start the head nod, eyes closing, falling asleep thing.  But with exciting and thrilling books, especially at then end, the excitement keeps me awake and it is hard to put the book down.  I just want to see / read what happens.  This book totally did that.  As I got to the end of the book, so much was going on that though I was so tired and wanted to go to sleep, I kept on reading and reading.

I vaguely remember that this was a movie several years back - 2006 to be exact.  As I sat down this afternoon to write about Eragon, I looked up the movie trailer.  Initially I thought it was an animated film like How to Train Your Dragon.  But when I watched the actual trailer, it is decidedly not an animated film.  It looks dark and gritty, just like the book.  I kind of want to rent or find this on-demand to watch later today.

In a nut shell, Eragon is a boy who lives in a land ruled by an evil king.  One day while out hunting, Eragon finds a peculiar blue stone.  He picks it up in the hopes that he can get someone to buy it so he can use the money to buy food and meat for his uncle and cousin.  The butcher won't buy it, and Eragon is concerned that he is returning home with no food to eat.  One of the townspeople, Horst, buys meat for Eragon in exchange for him working during the springtime.  Eragon gets meat, and gets to keep the stone.

     "The stone has given him nothing but frustration and anger, and now it would not even let him sleep!  It ignored his furious glare and sat solidly, occasionally peeping.  Then it gave one very loud squeak and fell silent.  Eragon warily put it away and got back under the sheets.  Whatever secret the stone held, it would have to wait until morning.

      The moon was shining through his window when we woke again.  The stone was rocking rapidly on the shelf, knocking against the wall.  It was bathed in cool moonlight that bleached its surface.  Eragon jumped out of bed, knife in hand.  The motion stopped, but he remained tense.  Then the stone started squeaking and rocking faster than ever.

     With an oath, he began dressing.  He did not care how valuable the stone might be; he was going to take it far away and bury it.  The rocking stopped; the stone became quiet.  It quivered, then rolled forward and dropped onto the floor with a loud thump.  He inched toward the door in alarm as the stone wobbled toward him.

     Suddenly a crack appeared on the stone.  Then another and another.  Transfixed, Eragon leaned forward, still holding the knife.  At the top of the stone, where all the cracks met, a small piece wobbled, as if it were balanced on something, then rose and toppled to the floor.  After another series of squeaks, a small dark head poked out of the hole, followed by a weirdly angled body.  Eragon gripped the knife tighter and held very still.  Soon the creature was ll the way out of the stone.  It stayed in place for a moment, then skittered into the moonlight.

     Eragon recoiled in shock.  Standing in front if him, licking off the membrane that encased it, was a dragon." 

This event changes Eragon's life forever.  He makes some unbelievable discoveries about the town's storyteller, Broom, he meets some unreal and unusual friends on an adventure of, literally, a lifetime.

The writing and imagination in this book really do seem beyond the abilities of a normal 15 year old.  The details and descriptions of people and places really make it so you can envision everything you are reading about.  I especially like the dialog between Eragon and his dragon, Saphira.  No, silly, dragons can't talk, but they do have a kind of mind-meld with their Rider (Eragon is Saphira's Rider).  Saphira is snarky and opinionated, and I like it!

I'm a few days into the 2nd book in the series, Eldest, and so far I'm really liking it.  Can't wait to see where this book & series goes.

Shiloh by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

So, after reading The Survivor, by Vince Flynn & Kyle Mills, I needed a book to read.  I spent Halloween with my brother, sister-in-law, and 10 year-old niece Sophia, and 12 year-old nephew, Alex.  Alex and I were talking about the Alchemyst book series he recommended and how much I liked it.  He asked if I had started the Inheritance Cycle trilogy he gave me a while back, and I said that I'd probably start that next.  Sophia asked if she could give me a book to read, and of course I said yes.  So, she picked out Shiloh for me.  How could I refuse my niece and a book with an adorable little dog on the cover.

I fell asleep Halloween night before I even got through 1 page, so I brought it home with me and started for real reading it on November 1 and finished it around November 14.

This book is about a little boy with 2 younger sisters who encounters a little dog one day when he was out walking near his house.  

"...he licks all my fingers and jumps up against my leg, making little yelps in his throat.  He can't get enough of me, like I'd been saying no all along and now I'd said yes, he could come.  It's a he-dog like I thought.  'Hey, boy! You're really somethin' now ain't you?' I'm laughing as the beagle makes circles around me.  I squat down and the dog licks my face, my neck.  Where'd he learn to come if you whistled, to hang back if you didn't?  I'm so busy watching the dog I don't even notice it's started to rain.  Don't bother me.  Don't bother the dog, neither.  I'm looking for the place I first saw him.  Does he live here?  I wonder.  Or the house up on the road?  Each place we pass I figure he'll stop - somebody come out and whistle, maybe.  But nobody comes out and the dog don't stop.  Keeps coming even after we get to the old Shiloh schoolhouse.  Even starts across the bridge, tail going like a propeller.  He licks my hand every so often to make sure I'm still there - mouth open like's he smiling.  He is smiling."

The little dog wouldn't stop following the boy, Marty.  The little dog followed Marty home, and that's when the story takes off.  Marty and his dad figure out that the dog belongs to a mean man who lives nearby, who Marty suspects mistreats his dogs.  Marty has obviously fallen in love with the dog, whom he named Shiloh, and is torn up about having to return the dog to his owner.

All Marty can think about is getting Shiloh back and being able to call the dog his own.  When Shiloh shows up at his house once again, Marty sees this as his opportunity to keep Shiloh.  He creates a pen for Shiloh up on a hill a ways away from his house.  He sneaks food to him, plays with him at every opportunity, and just loves Shiloh to no end.  Of course, something happens, and Marty is faced with several decisions to try and rectify the situation. 

This little book is very sweet, and you can't help but fall in love with Shiloh too.  A quick and entertaining read, any kid would love this.  But be careful, after reading it, they might keep bugging you to get a dog!

The Survivor: A Mitch Rapp Novel, by Vince Flynn and Kyle Mills

So, after reading two short little eBooks by Michael Scott, I needed a new book to read.  I took a little break, and then when I was at the airport flying down to Southern California for a friend's baby shower, I saw something on a shelf in the airport bookstore that made me stop dead in my tracks.  Literally stopped in my tracks when I saw this:

Why did this book stop me in my tracks?  Well, I'll tell you.  The author, Vince Flynn, died in June 2013 after a 3-year battle with prostate cancer, and I thought his Mitch Rapp book series died with him.  So, it was a complete surprise to me to walk by a bookstore and see a Vince Flynn novel front and center - how could it be?  Another author, Kyle Mills, finished the book after Flynn's passing.  

The Husband and I are trying not to buy books, but rather check them out from the public library, but since I was book-less on this trip, I decided to sidestep our new practice and buy this book.  I started reading it on October 11 and finished it on October 28.

This book did not disappoint.  I honestly couldn't really tell that this was written by someone other than Flynn.  Flynn started this book before he passed and Mills finished it.  I don't know where in the book Flynn left off and Mills picked up.  I really wonder how an author with their own voice and style can pick up and write in the same style and voice as another author.  But, thankfully some can - I was very sad at the prospect of not having any more Mitch Rapp novels to read.

So, before I go further, if you decide you want to read Mitch Rapp novels, you really really really should start at the beginning and read them in order:

Yes, you could pick them up and read out of order, but they will make SO MUCH more sense if you do read them in order.  Characters are introduced, back stories are explained, and each book builds on the previous.  It will be worth it to read them in order.

So, if you are new to Vince Flynn and his Mitch Rapp character - here's the skinny:  Mitch Rapp is a black-ops CIA agent, total bad ass, ruggedly good looking dude who gets into and out of a lot of shit.  He works directly with the director of the CIA and generally tries to keep the shit from hitting the fan in the world, in Washington, D. C., for politicians, for the President.  He's not without his own shortcomings or skeletons in the closet or tragic life events.  But trust me, if he was real, I'd want him on my side if anything bad or dangerous was going on.

The Survivor picks up where The Last Man left off - shit is hitting the fan (not surprisingly) and Mitch needs to clean it up.  The main CIA guy in the Middle-East has died but not without leaving a mess for Mitch and the CIA to deal with.  I really can't say too much more without giving things away, and I detest spoilers, so sorry - you'll just have to read this series.  Trust me, it is GREAT.

The books are extremely well-written.  The characters are believable.  The story lines are plausible.  Mitch Rapp is super bad-ass and you'll want him on your side too.

I hope hope hope that Kyle Mills or another author continues with this series. 

An aside:  American Assassin, the first book in the series, is currently being made into a movie!!!  Hallelujah that they are starting with the first book rather than picking one in the middle like other series (Jack Reacher, etc.)  CANNOT WAIT TO SEE IT!

Billy the Kid & the Vampyres of Vegas, and The Death of Joan of Arc by Michael Scott

So, after finishing Less Than Hero, by S. G. Browne, I spent a few days reading two eBooks by Michael Scott.  These two short eBooks are a nice little foray into Billy the Kid and Joan of Arc.

The Billy the Kid story gives insight into how Billy and Scatty became friends under shady circumstances, and their adventures with Vampyres in Vegas.  Good times.

The Joan of Arc story gives us a glimpse of how Joan of Arc and Scatty became friends during trying times.

Neither of these eBooks is very long, nor do they offer too much more insight into what Scott published in his novels.  However, they were quick reads, allowed me to learn a little more about the characters from the book series, and they were entertaining.  I expected these eBooks to be longer, so was disappointed when they were so short - each was easily read in one short sitting.

I find myself wanting more after finishing the book series - the books were so detailed and addicting.  I want more!

Less Than Hero, by S. G. Browne

So, after finishing Worth Dying For by Lee Child on September 13, I started Less Than Hero by S. G. Browne.  I finished this one on September 27.  A few years back, The Husband and I met S. G. Browne at a book reading held by SF in SF - Science Fiction in San Francisco.  Browne's book, Lucky Bastard, had recently been published and he was there to talk about it.  Lucky Bastard, a sci-fi cop novel set in San Francisco, was a good read - strange but good.  It was fun to read a book set in the city where I lived for almost 20 years - I could really picture the places, geography, and settings Brown wrote about.

The Husband got Less Than Hero from the library and passed it to me to read when he finished.  Reading the synopsis on the back of the book, I was a little skeptical as to whether I would like this one.  But, it was quite entertaining and I enjoyed it.  This is the story of a group of men living in New York who make a living being "guinea pigs" for drug trials.  Each of the guys has an interesting life outside of their guinea pigging.  Lloyd panhandles with a variety of entertaining signs one of which invited people to hurl insults at him for money - will take verbal abuse for money.

"When I first started using this sign a couple of years ago, I received the standard insults and derogatory comments meant for me and my wasted life.  For what I represented.  For what I'd become.

A social tumor.

A rash on the ass of civilization.

An oozing pus bag of failure.

     More often than not, the insults weren't accompanied by a donation but by malicious laughter.  Sometimes people spit on me, which isn't technically verbal abuse, but when you're a panhandler, you can't expect everyone to be on the same page. 

   But after a while, once people saw me around Central Park with my sign on a regular basis, they started to feel comfortable with me, to understand the freedom I was offering, and they started to open up.  Now when most people approach me, rather than showering me with personal attacks and derogatory invectives about my existence, they vent their frustrations about anything that's troubling them.  The problems that they're unable to deal with.

     Jobs.  Relationships.  Family.

     'I hate you, Mom.' A young woman wearing a Columbia University sweatshirt tosses a dollar into my hat. 'You've ruined my life.'

     ...'Go fuck yourself, Kaufman.' A guy in a suit donates a dollar to my cause.  'I don't need this job or your bullshit TPS reports."  [Gotta love a little Office Space reference thrown in there] 

Lloyd lives with Sophie who moonlights as a Fairy in Central Park.  Sophie has a cat named Vegan who "only eats cat food made with organic animal products.  He also doesn't consume any dairy products, even if they're made with non-GMO ingredients or come from cows that aren't factory-farmed or injected with HGH.  According to Sophie, this is a decision Vegan came to on his own."

Lloyd and his merry band of guinea pigs get together frequently to hang out, talk about new trials, and catch up.  One day, Lloyd brings up something strange that he's noticed about himself.  At first the others don't believe him.  But soon they, too, admit that they have strange things about themselves too.  They come to consider these "strange things" super powers of sorts and decide to put them to good use - defending and helping those in need.  And, of course every super hero needs a nemesis - this book has those too.

This book is super strange, but has an interesting overarching theme - people test all kinds of drugs for drug companies.  Drugs can have all kinds of side effects.  Could some of those side effects become "powers" of sort that are transferrable to or upon others?  Brown writes:

"A recent study found that seven in ten Americans are on at least one prescription drug and more than half take two or more - with antibiotics, antidepressants, antianxiety drugs, opioids, high blood pressure medications, and vaccines making up the bulk of the prescriptions.  According to that same study, a third of all prescription drugs are toxic to humans, with the side effects of the medications often worse than the affliction being medicated.

Your average person will take their doctor-prescribed prescriptions without giving much thought to what long-term effects those drugs might have on them.  At least we guinea pigs understand what we're getting into, even if it's not a smart career move.  But for people who have normal jobs, taking a drug to cure one problem can lead to additional side efects that require more drugs until you wind up in a never-ending pharmaceutical loop, medicating your medications.

...So it seems reasonable that it's only a matter of time before evolution makes a leap forward and humans start being born with a dependency on pharmaceutical drugs.  Or exhibiting permanent side effects."

 Makes you think, doesn't it.

If you could have a super power of your choosing - not a prescription drug induced one - what would it be?  Mine would be the power of flight.

Worth Dying For, by Lee Child

So, after finishing Looking for Alaska by John Green on August 31, I started the next Jack Reacher novel, Worth Dying For, by Lee Child on September 2 and finished it on September 13.  As with all of the other Jack Reacher novels, this one didn't disappoint.  Lee Child has a very successful recipe for his Reacher books, but does throw in a few unexpected elements every now and again.  It's like adding in a pinch of a new spice into the recipe.  The recipe is tried and true and is super tasty, but adding in a pinch of something new adds a little bit of unexpected taste and texture to something that is already good.

It still perplexes me to no end at the casting of Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher.  It defies logic and completely contradicts the main characteristics of Jack Reacher - mainly being a very large and tall man - which Tom Cruise is decidedly not.  I am not the only one who feels this way.  One person suggested Channing Tatum could be Reacher.  I'm not sold on that, but I really don't have a concrete suggestion about who could be a fit for Reacher.  Hugh Jackman?  Joe Manganiello?  The Rock?  There seem to be a lot of suggestions out there some I agree with, some not (no no no Brad Pitt, Ben Afflek, Liam Neeson).  Regardless, Tom Cruise was cast, and one article I found (from about a year ago) mentioned that another Jack Reacher movie was in the works with Tom as Jack.  I found a few others that also mention a Jack Reacher 2 being made...  We'll see how that one turns out.

Let's talk about Worth Dying For.  It's good.  Read it.  The end.

Just kidding.  Worth Dying For, shows us another side of Jack Reacher - a physically impaired, hurting Jack Reacher.  This book picks up immediately after 61 Hours ends.  Reacher is leaving the wintery South Dakota town after protecting the old lady witness (and not getting a girl), and ends up in a small wintery Nebraska town while trying to make his way to Virgina to see about a girl.  This small Nebraska town is super small, as in everyone knows everyone, and some of the townfolk even have an emergency secret phone tree (that turns out is not so secret after all).

A small family of men, the Duncans, "run" this town and the residents of the town are fearful of this family because of events that took place 25 years ago.  The Duncans came to run the crop shipping business in their farming town, and the residents who have disputes with the Duncans or wish to not use the Duncans to haul their harvests end up with rotting harvests sitting on their farms.  Not a great situation, but there doesn't seem to be much the residents can or are willing to do about it.  

But wait, Reacher is there - so the Duncans better beware...  As usual, Reacher ends up involved in town business and going off to do his own investigation on the historical event that transpired.  There seem to be other things at play in this town in addition to the harvest-hauling monopoly-racket the Duncans have going on.  The Duncans are wrapped up in some kind of trouble involving Italian, and Middle-Eastern customers from Vegas.  Apparently what happens in Vegas doesn't really stay there.

So, with Reacher poking his nose around in things that have nothing to do with him, a number of things get wrapped up together that ordinarily would have nothing to do with one another.  Two Italian hit men are looking for Reacher.  And two different sets of 2 Middle-Eastern hit men are looking out for the Italians, the other set of Middle-Eastern men, and for Reacher.  

     "...Got a description?" 

     "Big guy, blue eyes, white, six-five, two-fifty, brown coat." 

     Mahmeini's man said, "That's worthless.  This is America.  This is farm country.  It's full of settlers and peasants.  They all look like that.  I mean, we just saw a guy exactly like that." 

     Safir's guy said, "He's right.  We saw one too.  We're going to need a much better description." 

     Cassano said, "We don't have one.  But it will be easier when we get up there.  Reacher stands out, apparently.  And the local population is prepared to help us.  They've been told to phone in with sightings.  And there's no cover up there." 

     Mahmeini's man said, "So where is he hiding out?" 

     "We don't know.  There's a motel, but he's not in it.  Maybe he's sleeping rough." 

     "In this weather?  Is that likely?" 

     "There are sheds and barns.  I'm sure we'll find him." 

     "And then what?" 

     "We put him down." 

     "Risky." 

     "I know.  He's tough.  So far he's taken out four of the local people." 

     Mahmeini's man said, "I don't care how tough he thinks he is.  And I don't care how many local people he's taken out either.  Because I'm sure they're all idiots up there.  I mean it's risky because this isn't the Wild West anymore.  Do we have a safe exit strategy?" 

     Cassano said, "They tell me he's kind of a hobo so nobody is going to miss him.  There's not even going to be an investigation.  There aren't even any cops up there."

As per the usual recipe, Reacher pokes around, investigates some, theorizes some, and draws upon his MP experience to help him figure things out.  And, as per the usual recipe, Reacher gets captured by the bad guys - in this case, the Duncans.

     Reacher has been fighting since he was five years old, and he had never had his nose broken.  Not even once.  Partly good luck, and partly good management.  Plenty of people had tried, over the years, either deliberately or in a flurry of savage unaimed blows, but none had ever succeeded.  Not one.  Not ever.  Not even close.  It was a fact Reacher was proud of, in a peculiar way.  It was a symbol.  A talisman.  A badge of honor.  He had all kinds of nicks and cuts and scars on his face and his arms and his body, but he felt that the distinctive but intact bone in his nose made up for them...

      The blow came in exactly as he expected it to, a clenched fist, a straight right, hard and heavy, riding up a little, aiming high, as if Duncan subconsciously expected Reacher to flinch up and back...  But Reacher didn't flinch up and back.  He started with his head up and back, his eyes open, watching down his nose, timing it, then jerking forward from the neck, smashing a perfect improvised head butt straight into Duncan's knuckles, an instant high-speed high-impact collision between the thick ridge in Reacher's brow and the delicate bones in Duncan's hand.  No contest.  No contest at all...  Duncan screamed and snatched his hand away and cradled it limp against his chest and hopped a whole yowling circle, looking up, looking down, stunned and whimpering...

     "Asshole," Reacher said.

In yet another skirmish Reacher kicked ass and took names.  (An aside here - for the past six months or so, I've been taking a self defense class and learning a variety of defense and offense techniques - JKD, Kali, Silat, Thai Boxing, Wing Chun, and more) to defend myself against a theoretical (hopefully) attacker.  These classes have been SUPER fun and SUPER empowering, and I've loved every minute of them.  It is amazing how good it feels to punch, kick, flip, stomp, and disarm - though I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of the punching, kicking, flipping, stomping, and disarming.  I have a new appreciation for the MMA and Martial Arts fighters I see as I'm flipping channels on TV, and it is cool to watch a Jason Bourne movie and know what style of fighting he's using - JKD, Kali - and be able to do some of the things he's done, albeit not as fast or fancy.  So, reading about Jack Reacher's fights in the book, I can actually picture what he's doing, how he's doing it, how he sets up for his moves, and how it impacts the opponents because I've done it in class.) 

     His shoulder was moving because he was already driving hard off his back foot, jerking forward, twisting at the waist, building torque, hurling his right elbow into the gap created by turning the guy counterclockwise an inch, aiming to hit him with the elbow right on the outer edge of his left eye socket, hoping to crack his skull along the line of his temple.  No rules.  The blow landed with all 250 pounds of moving mass behind it, a solid jarring impact Reacher felt all the way down to his toes.  The guy staggered back.  He stayed on his feet.  Evidently his skull hadn't cracked, but he was feeling it.  He was feeling it bad, and his mouth was opening, ready to howl, so Reacher shut it again for him with a vicious uppercut under the chin, convulsive, far from elegant, but effective.  The guy's head snapped back in a mist of blood and bounced forward again off his massive deltoids and Reacher tried for his other eye socket with his left elbow, a ferocious in-and-out snap from the waist, and then he put a forearm smash from the right into the guy's throat, a real home run swing, and then he kneed him in the groin, and danced behind him and kicked him hard in the back of the knees, a sweeping scything action, so that the guy's legs folded up under him and he went down heavily on his back on the path.

     Six blows, three seconds.

     No rules. 

Reacher is kicking ass and taking names.  He's not really taking names though - just kicking ass.  He does a lot of ass kicking (same dependable recipe does it every time).  At the end of the book after much ass kicking, solving the mystery, and ridding the town of the Duncans, one of the good townsfolk asks Reacher where he is heading next.

     They drove the first ten miles in silence.  Then they passed the abandoned roadhouse and the two-lane speared onward and empty ahead of them and Dorothy asked, "What's in Virginia?"

     "A woman," Reacher said. 

     "Your girlfriend?"

     "Someone I talked to on the phone, that's all..."

If you are in need of some mind candy, an easy, entertaining read, with ass kicking, violence, and Reacher - pick this one up.  You'll appreciate the vulnerable Reacher (and how he became that way) if you read 61 Hours.  But if you haven't read that one, you'll still enjoy this book.  I'm looking forward to the next one to see what happens with this girl, as this is the 2nd book in a row where Reacher hasn't gotten the girl.  Is he losing his touch?  Somehow I don't think so...

Looking for Alaska, by John Green

So, after finishing The Enchantress: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, by Michael Scott on August 9, I picked up Looking for Alaska, by John Green.  I started this one on August 9 and finished it on August 31.  One of my colleagues at work brought in a bunch of books she read and was finished with, and recommended this one.  I read one of John Green's other books, The Fault in Our Stars, way back in January of 2014 and loved it.  There was a movie out recently based on a book by John Green called Paper Towns, and I think that I thought this book was that movie, but it wasn't.

Looking for Alaska tells the story of Miles, an unpopular high school student in Florida who decides he wants to go away to boarding school in Alabama - the boarding school his father attended.  Miles' parents throw him a going away party, and his fear that no one will show up basically comes true.  So, he goes off to Alabama to seek the "Great Perhaps."  What is the "Great Perhaps," you might ask?  Well it is a famous last word of poet Francois Rabelais.  Miles is obsessed with famous last words.

He arrives at school, where it is hot and humid with no air conditioning anywhere, and meets his new roommate, Chip, aka the Colonel.  Miles quickly gets a nickname of his own "Pudge", and a hazing (that goes a little too far) at the hands of the local rich kids, known as the Weekday Warriors.  They are at Culver Creek (aka "The Creek") during the week, then they go home during the weekends.  The Colonel and his merry band of trickster friends take Miles in and go about showing him the ropes at The Creek.  The band of tricksters quickly become Miles' friends.

One of this band of tricksters is a girl named Alaska.  You'll learn how she got that name if you read the book.  Alaska is an enigma, a breath of fresh air, a train-wreck you can't avert your eyes from, a huge ball of energy, a hard nut to crack, a moody and unpredictable girl, and she steals Miles' heart without even trying.  Miles, the Colonel, Alaska, and the merry band of tricksters drink, smoke, make out, and plan elaborate pranks during their time at the Creek.

     The final exam: What is the most important question human beings must answer?  Choose your question wisely, and then examine how Islam, Buddhism, and Christianity attempt to answer it. 

     "I hope that poor bastard lives the rest of the school year," the Colonel said as we jogged home through the rain, "because I'm sure starting to enjoy that class.  What's your most important question?" 

     After thirty seconds of running, I was already winded.  "What happens...to us...when we die?"

     "Christ, Pudge, if you don't stop running, you're going to find out."  He slowed to a walk.  "My question is: Why do good people get rotten lots in life?  Holy shit, is that Alaska?"

     She was running at us full speed, and she was screaming, but I couldn't hear her over the pounding rain until she was so close to us that I could see her spit flying.

     "The fuckers flooded my room.  They ruined like a hundred of my books!  Goddamned pissant Weekday Warrior shit.  Colonel, they poked a hole in the gutter and connected a plastic tube from the gutter down through my back window into my room!  The whole place is soaking wet.  My copy of The General in His Labyrinth is absolutely ruined." 

     "That's pretty good," The Colonel said, like an artist admiring another's work.

     "Hey!" she shouted. 

     "Sorry.  Don't worry, dude," he said.  "God will punish the wicked. And before He does, we will."

Thus begins the planning of the prank to end all pranks.   

     "I've got an idea," she said.  "It's great.  What we need is a pre-prank that coincides with an attack on Kevin [one of the Weekday Warriors] and his minions," she said.

     I was sitting on the bed, reading the textbook in preparation for my American history exam the next day. 

    "A pre-prank?" I asked.

    "A prank designed to lull the administration into a false sense of security," the Colonel answered, annoyed by the distraction.  "After the pre-prank, the Eagle will think the junior class has done its prank and won't be waiting for it when it actually comes."  Every year, the junior and senior classes pulled off a prank at some point in the year - usually something lame, like Roman candles in the dorm circle at five in the morning on a Sunday.

     "Is there always a pre-prank?" I asked. 

     "No, you idiot," the Colonel said.  "If there was always a pre-prank, then the Eagle would expect two pranks.  The last time a pre-prank was used--hmm.  Oh right: 1987.  When the pre-prank was cutting off electricity to campus, and then the actual prank was putting five hundred live crickets in the heating ducts of the classrooms.  Sometimes you can still hear the chirping."

You'll learn all about the prank planning, the prank itself, (parts of it were hilarious) and a host of other things, including a goose biting someone in the ass.  John Green is great at developing his characters and inviting you into their lives, their thoughts, and their worlds.  You can feel as if you really know these people, and you can envision the scenes he writes.  The book reminds me a little of the Breakfast Club (circa 1985).  If you've seen that movie, and you read this book, you'll see what I mean (hopefully).  If you haven't seen that movie, it's worth a watch.  The theme song seems to fit this book too - Don't You Forget About Me.

The Enchantress: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, by Michael Scott

So, after finishing Grey, by E. L. James on July 21, I picked up and started the last book in the Alchemyst series, The Enchantress: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, by Michael Scott, on July 28.  I finished this one on August 9.  If I thought the shit hit the fan in the Warlock, and every other of the Alchemyst books, I can definitively say that a whole lot of big shit hit a gigantic fan in The Enchantress.  As per usual, The Enchantress picked up where The Warlock left off.  I wish I could tell you everything that happened in this book, but I don't want to spoil it.  If you are interested at all in knowing what happened, I suggest you pick up the book(s) and read them.

The situation in San Francisco is desperate for Perenelle and Nicholas - they are almost out of time since they don't have the whole codex and can't make their immortality potion.  They are desperate to help in any way they can, and throw themselves into harm's way along with Billy the Kid, Machiavelli, Mars, Hel, Odin, Prometheus, The Morrigan, the gigantic spider, and many other Elders and Next Generation.

The frenzy by the Dark Elders to take over earth as we know it is reaching a fever pitch and they are doing anything and everything in their power to make things go their way.  Those on the other side are doing everything they can to stop that from happening.  The group on Alcatraz is fighting a deadly menagerie of monsters, the group elsewhere is fighting an evil and scheming menagerie of Elders and Dark Elders.

Mars, Odin, and Hel prepared to make their final stand in the corridors of Alcatraz.

     "There are just too many of them!" Mars shouted.  The Elder was standing in a corridor facing down a host of gray Moss People.  Short and stunted, their skin the texture of tree bark, they were covered in thick moss, and although they were armed with only wooden swords and spears, their weapons were deadly.  Mars's armor was scratched and torn, and he was bleeding from a score of minor wounds.

     Behind and to his left, he heard Odin grunt and knew the one-eyed Elder had sustained another wound.  He was facing off with a dozen filthy vetala.

     "There is no shame in running away to live and fight another day," Odin grunted in the lost language of Danu Talis.

     Behind them, propped against a wall, lay Hel.  She had managed to drive back a hairy minotaur with her long metal whip, but not before its horns had opened a deep gash in her side and along her left arm.  "Running would be good," she grunted, "if we had somewhere to run to." 

Niten and Prometheus were fighting their own battle against Spartoi, crocodile-like monsters animated by Bastet and Quetzacolcoatl.

     Prometheus's huge sword smashed into the Drakon warrior, crushing its shield to a twisted ruin.  Its spiked club screamed as it ran along the length of the Elder's sword, and Prometheus lashed out with his metal-clad foot, stamping down hard on the creature's bare toes.

      The Spartoi hissed, golden eyes bulging in shock, and Prometheus stepped forward, reversed the sword and brought the heavy pommel down hard on its head.  It slumped back on top of the others, blocking them.  The other creatures clawed at it, dragging it out of the way, allowing another to push through.

     "You will pay for that...," the Spartoi began, and then Prometheus's metal-gloved hand shot out, grabbed it by the snout and rapped it over the skull with the pommel of his sword,  He flung the lizard back into its companions and all six went sprawling.  "This isn't too bad," the Elder laughed.  "I'm starting to enjoy myself."

     The foggy air curled and suddenly four spears arced out of the night.  Prometheus's huge sword flashed and twisted.  He managed to chop two of the wickedly barbed spears out of the air, sending their broken halves spinning off into the night. 

Loyalties are called into question, identities are revealed, and peoples' true characters are revealed - and nothing is as you expect.

The book wraps up decently - I thought there could be at least one more chapter to go into a little more detail about what happened to the characters, but it was good enough.  I had several "what the hell" moments when things were revealed or when things happened that I just couldn't believe.

All in all, this was a great book & series.  Scott has a talent for describing details and really painting a visual picture.  I really could visualize everything and everyone and every place in these books.  He did an amazing job of melding the real and the fantasy and creating a compelling, unpredictable saga that any aged reader can enjoy (young adult on up).  Two thumbs up from me!

Grey, by E L James

So, after finishing The Warlock by Michael Scott, I started Grey by E L James.  In case you've been living under a rock for the past year or so, this is the 4th book in the 50 Shades of Grey series that came out in in 2011 (with a movie released in February 2015).

Like many many other people, like 100 million other people, I was caught up in the trilogy of books which follow the relationship between Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.  It is a less than conventional relationship - a Dom/Sub sexual relationship - with Christian as the Dom and Anastasia as the Sub.

The original trilogy of books - 50 Shades of Grey, 50 Shades Darker, 50 Shades Freed) were wonderfully terrible, or terribly wonderful - any way you slice it or dice it - the books were catchy, raunchy, racy, pornographic, erotic, can't put it down reads.  I was reading the trilogy when I was commuting on CalTrain from the Peninsula up to San Francisco (2 hours each way every day), and was tearing through the books.  I was slightly embarrassed reading them on public transportation, but I really couldn't put them down.  I remember once needing to get through a chapter in one of the books, so I was reading it while walking down Montgomery Street in the middle of the Financial District at 8:30 in the morning.  I just couldn't put it down.  Terribly wonderful books.  When I heard the movie was getting made, I was skeptical.  How would they make the movie following the book?  What actor and actress would really go there and do what was written in the book?  Yikes.  The movie - horribly wonderful.

Then, I heard there was a book coming out that followed the first book in the trilogy, 50 Shades of Grey, but was written from Christian's perspective.  Hmmmmm...  Interesting concept.  The Husband told me that E L James originally wrote fan fiction for the Twilight series.  After learning that fun fact, I have to say, I can see it - Anastasia Steele is very similar to Bella Swan - clumsy, innocent, virginal, young, brunette, and hopelessly in love with a tall, mysterious, brooding, dark, wealthy man, Edward Cullen / Christian Grey.  So, yeah, there are a lot of similarities, except the 50 Shades characters aren't vampires.

I wasn't sure what to expect with Grey.  I started the book on 7/11 (free slurpee day, yeay!) and finished it on July 21.  Horribly wonderful, wonderfully horrible.  Having seen the 50 Shades movie (which didn't completely follow the book), it was hard not to try to compare or figure out how closely Grey followed 50 Shades.  This book was raunchy, sexy, bad, entertaining, pornographic, catchy, etc. etc.  

     She's so fucking tight.  She cries out.
     Shit! I've hurt her.  I want to move, to lose myself in her, and it takes all my restraint to stop.  "You're so tight.  You okay?" I ask, my voice a hoarse, anxious whisper, and she nods, eyes wider.  She's like heaven on earth, so tight around me.  And even though her hands are on my forearms, I don't care.  The darkness is slumbering, perhaps because I've wanted her for so long.  I've never felt this desire, this...hunger before.  It's a new feeling, new and shiny.  I want so much from her: her trust, her obedience, her submission.  I want her to be mine, but right now...I'm hers.

What was interesting/disturbing was reading what was going through Christian's head during his torrid relationship with Anastasia.  Yeah, he's pretty fucked up.

     "...I worry that you'll hurt me."
     Fuck.  Tell her.  It's truth-or-dare time, Grey.  "I want to hurt you.  But not beyond anything that you couldn't take."  I'd never go too far.
     "Why?"
     "I just need it," I whisper.  "I can't tell you."
     "Can't or won't?"
     "Won't."
     "So you know why?"
     "Yes."
     "But you won't tell me."
     "If I do, you will run screaming from this room, and you'll never want to return.  I can't risk that, Anastasia."
     "You want me to stay."
     "More than you know.  I couldn't bear to lose you."
     I can no longer stomach the distance between us.  I grab her to stop her from running, and I pull her into my arms, my lips seeking hers.  She answers my need, her mouth molding to mine, kissing me back with the same passion and hope and longing.  The hovering darkness recedes and I find my solace.
     "Don't leave me," I whisper against her lips.  "You said you wouldn't leave me, and you begged me not to leave you, in your sleep."
     "I don't want to go," she says, but her eyes are searching mine, looking for answers.  And I'm exposed - my ugly, torn soul on display.
     "Show me," she says.... "Punish me.  I want to know how bad it can get."
     Oh no.  I release her and step out of her reach.
     ...And in that moment I know there's nothing I want more...There's nothing that will satisfy the monster within me more.
     ...I open the door, quickly grab a belt from the rack before she changes her mind, and lead her to the bench in the corner of the room.
     ...This is it.  What I want.  What I've been working toward.     ...I take a deep breath, savoring this moment, trying to steady my heartbeat.
     I need this.  This is what I do.  And we're finally here.     Holding her in place with one hand at the small of her back, I shake out the belt.  I take another deep breath, focusing on the task in hand.
     She won't run.  She's asked me.
     Then I wield it, striking her across both cheeks, hard.
     ...I hit her again...  I hit her again... I hit her once more... There are three stripes across her backside.
     I make it four.
     There's no one to hear you, baby.  Shout all you need.  I belt her again.
[if you read the original book or saw the movie, you know what happens - Anastasia isn't happy and storms out of the play room.]
     I sink to the floor and lean my head against the wall, my arms on my bent knees.  Just let her cry.  She'll feel better for crying.  Women do, in my experience.  Give her a moment, then go and offer her aftercare.  She didn't safe-word.  She asked me.  She wanted to know, curious as ever.  It's just been a rude awakening, that's all.
     You are one fucked-up son of a bitch.     Closing my eyes, I smile without humor.  Yes, Ana, yes I am, and now you know.  Now we can move forward with our relationship...arrangement.

Horribly catchy, terribly addicting.  Bad.  Good.  Ugly.  Sexy.  Violent.  "Out there."

If you read the original trilogy, you'll probably like this too.  It is more of the same, but obviously gauging by how many books of the main trilogy sold, and how popular the movie was, this book will do just fine (1.1 million copies sold so far, so says the internet).

Waiting for the library to send book 6 of the Alchemyst series - hoping to have that this week.  Yeay! 

p.s. After reading this post to the Husband, he cries out "That's horrible.  That's terrible.  Now I know how you feel about me watching reality TV.  It is horrible.  It kills brain cells.  Books commit suicide when you read this."

The Warlock: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, by Michael Scott

So, after finishing The Necromancer on July 2, I picked up The Warlock, by Michael Scott.  This is the fifth book in this series.  I think I started this on or around July 2 and finished on or around July 11.

The Warlock picks up immediately where The Necromancer leaves off.  If the shit was hitting the fan in The Necromancer, it really hits the fan in The Warlock.  I found myself repeatedly saying "Wait, what?" and, "Holy Crap!" to myself when reading this book because I couldn't believe what was happening.  There are so many angles and story arcs in this (and most of Scott's books).  And, it is so suspenseful waiting for everything to get sorted out.  Characters don't seem to be who they are.  People have motives and counter-motives and allegiances and counter-allegiances, and you never really know how things will shake out until they shake out, and then re-shake out.

Sophie and Josh are separated, and it really appears as though Josh is going to pick the "wrong" side.  But the "right" and "wrong" sides seem to blur frequently.  Each believes and questions whether they are on the "right" side.  Goes back to the motives and allegiances and how those seem to be playing out at that moment.  Josh and Sophie both have moments where they question what they are doing, who they are working with, and who they believe.

Here's a conversation between Billy the Kid and Josh:

     "Never thought I'd get to meet a legend," Josh said.  He suddenly found himself grinning like a fool, and he made a desperate attempt to keep calm.  He'd only vaguely known about Dare and Machiavelli before he met them, and had never heard of Dee, but Billy the Kid was different.  This was a genuine American legend.  Someone he'd grown up hearing stories about.
     The Kid looked almost embarrassed.  "I'm not that much of a legend, really.  Now, Wild Bill, Jesse James, Geronimo or Cochise, on the other hand - they were legends."
     "Well, I think you're a legend," Josh insisted.
     Billy Grinned.  "Well, you're a bit of a legend yourself, aren't you.  One of the legendary twins - one to save the world, one to destroy it," he drawled.  "Which one are you?"
     "I have no idea," Josh said seriously.  Although he'd never really stopped to consider the words.  One to save the world, one to destroy it.  He hoped he was the one to save it...but that would mean that his sister destroyed the world.  The thought left him stunned.

And, a conversation between Sophie and Tsagaglalal:

     ..."Magic is nothing more than imagination.  Look down," she [Tsagaglalal] commanded.
     Sophie looked at the ground between her outstretched legs.
     "Visualize the earth covered in blue flowers..."
     Sophie started to shake her head, but Tsagaglalal squeezed her fingers painfully.  "Do it."
     The girl struggled to create the image of the blue flowers in her head.
     Two tiny bluebells appeared.
     "Excellent," Tsagaglalal said.  "Now do it again.  See them clearly.  Visualize them.  Imagine them into existence."
     Sophie focused.  She knew what bluebells looked like.  She could see them clearly in her mind's eye.
     "Now imagine the grass turning to bluebells.  Change it in your head...force it to change...believe it will change.  You have to believe, Sophie Newman.  You will need to believe, to survive."
     Sophie nodded.  She firmly believed the grass was now covered with bluebells.
     And when she opened her eyes, it was.
     Tsagaglalal clapped her hands in delight.  "See.  All you had to do was have faith."
     "But is it earth magic?" Sophie asked.
     "That is the secret of all magic.  If you can imagine it, if you can see it clearly, and if your aura, your qi, is strong enough, then you will achieve it."
     Tsagaglalal attempted to stand.  Sophie got easily to her feet and helped the old woman up.  "Now why don't you run on up to the house and get changed.  Put on heavy janes and hiking boots and wear something warm."
     "Where am I going?"
     "To see your brother," Tsagaglalal said.
     Nothing sounded better to Sophie at that moment.  She kissed Tsagaglalal on the cheek before darting off through the garden.
     "And I don't think it is going to be a happy reunion," Tsagaglalal murmured.

The ending of this book - WOW - that was another "What the hell?" moment for me.  When I finished the last page, closed the book, and said again, out loud ,"What the hell?" the husband kept asking me what happened.  He asked me several questions, none of which I answered.  I told him, just as I'm writing here, no spoiler alert, you'll just have to read it.

Right after finishing this one, I started Grey by E L James.

The Necromancer: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, by Michael Scott

So, still behind, though not as woefully now.  I have this write up, and one other, and then I'm all caught up.  I started The Necromancer (the fourth book in the series) on June 23 and finished it on July 2.  I pretty much started this one immediately after finishing The Sorceress.  These books really don't disappoint.  Yeah, some shit goes down.  It goes down in all of the other books, but it is really starting to go down in this book.

From what I understand, the sixth book in this series tells the tale, and the tale ends with the last book.  So, with The Necromancer being the fourth book in the series, there isn't a whole lot of time to drag things out, so of course shit goes down.

Nicholas, Perenelle, Sophie, and Josh return to San Francisco and temporarily part ways.  The Flamels go check out their book store, and Sophie and Josh go to check in with their Aunt Agnes.  When Josh and Sophie arrive at their Aunt's house, they see someone with her and become suspicious.  The person runs into the house, and Josh makes chase.  The person comes tearing out of the house, past Josh, and approaches the waiting car.  Meanwhile, Sophie is talking to the person waiting in the car - an exact match to Scatty, only it isn't Scatty.  The mysterious person and the Scatty look-alike take Sophie and disappear.  Josh is somewhat distraught and needs to come up with some story to tell his Aunt Agnes as to why Sophie has gone missing.  Obviously, Josh sneaks away from Aunt Agnes and goes to find the Flamels to enlist their help.  Which, obviously, he gets.  They track Sophie to a houseboat in Sausalito and catch up with her there.

Turns out the Scatty look-alike is her twin sister, Aoife.  Her companion is a Japanese man called Niten.  Aoife is looking for Scatty, and thinks Sophie might know where she is.  Unbeknownst to all of them, she is trapped in the Pleistocene era...

Not surprisingly, Dee is screwed...  The Dark Elders basically have a contract out on him to find him (and to do some not so nice things to him) because of his repeated failures at capturing the Flamels and the Twins, and getting the last two pages of the Codex.  Dee, ever the schemer and planner, enlists the help of Virginia Dare, and they make their way back to San Francisco by a leygate.  Of course he has a plan to outwit the Dark Elders and show them who really is in charge.  But this scheme has a lot of twists and turns, and dependencies on others, so there are many variables he and Virgina have to contend with - and yes, there are a lot of variables.

We find out what really happened to Joan of Arc and Scatty.  Yes, they are in the Pleistocene, sort of.  I don't want to give too much away here, but some others join them, and then they leave the Pleistocene to do some other things.  Yes, I'm purposefully being vague here.

Billy the Kid and Machiavelli get into their own trouble, and we meet Billy's Elder Master - that was interesting.  If you know anything about Billy the Kid (fictionally or biographically), you know he is a lunatic and a character (watch Young Guns I, II, or III).  You will understand what I mean.

Josh, Sophie, and the Flamels make their way to a nearby shadowrealm so that Josh can learn the magic of Fire.  Of course, some shit goes down with that...  And with a bunch of other things.

Read this book and the series.  It's awesome!

Next, onto book 5 - The Warlock.  Man, it was GOOD!

The Sorceress: The Secrets of The Immortal Nicholas Flamel, by Michael Scott

So, again, I'm woefully behind on my writing, and again, the start and finish dates for this book escape me.  I picked up this book, the third in Michael Scott's series right after I finished The Magician.  And, this book picks up right where The Magician leaves off.

Midway through The Magician, Josh gets awakened at the behest of Dee and Machiavelli.  Mars Ultor does the awakening and leaves a little "gift" with Josh, much like Sophie received from the Witch of Endor.  Mars Ultor and his satyr guardians, Phobos and Deimos, two creatures I wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley, or any alley really, play a big role in this book.

After their trouble with the gargoyles and grotesques at Notre Dame, Nicholas, Josh, Sophie, and Joan escape to London.  This is a risky place to be, because just as Paris is Nicholas' home turf, London is Dee's.  With all that is going on with the Codex, the Dark Elders being hot to trot to rid this world of Nicholas and Perenelle, and you know, the rest of the plot by the Dark Elders to destroy and then take over the world, things are really starting to heat up.  They only wish it would be so easy to make their plot a reality...

Some new historical characters appear in this book - Palamedes (the Saracen Knight), good ole' William Shakespeare, Billy the Kid, Gilgamesh the King (who is insane).  It is amusing to see what historical characters will appear next.  Shakespeare, in this book, is an immortal and lives with Palamedes in a junkyard in London with some creatures called Gabriel Hounds - part man, part hound.

Twists and turns in the interactions of Dee, Machiavelli, Flamel, Billy the Kid, and the twins abound in this book.  Loyalties are called into question, and there are times when you don't know what is going to happen.  Scott is great at weaving together a very engaging and enthralling story that is action packed.  I really like being able to envision many of the places Scott uses in the books - Alcatraz, Paris, San Francisco, and London.  The Pleistocene Era makes an appearance too - I wonder what it would have been like in that Era in the Bay Area.  Scott is able to describe them in such a detailed way that even though you may not have been to a place, you can imagine the place - and the people too.

The end of this book, of course, leaves you wanting more...  About 100 pages before I finished this, I requested the next book (# 4 in the series), The Necromancer, from the library.  I knew that I'd want to start that one immediately.  And, of course I did want to, and actually did start it immediately.  Great book, quick read, entertaining.  Pick it up!